"You get to spend 2009 alive! It will be a great year."

I really believe everything in life happens for a reason. Sometimes that is hard to accept and I may not be able to figure out the reason right away, but eventually everything comes together and makes sense.

I know I have told this story a million times, but I left out some of the details, some of the HORRIBLE things I did/said prior to our near death experience.

After spending lots of quality family time in Chicago with my fam, Salms (I just couldn't keep calling him "A", that was way too hard for me to remember!) and I packed up the car on Sunday and headed out. Unfortunately for Salms, he had FAR too much to drink the night before, and he was feeling rather rough that morning. I didn't help matters, by forcing him to drive and load up the entire car as punishment. (This is not the first time he's gotten himself into this type of situation. I have no sympathy.) We stopped at McDonald's near my house to get some greasy food (and for Andy to puke) and then started our 6 hour journey back home. After about 15 minutes into the trip, Salms' car started to shake and hesitate while he accelerated. His engine light came on, and we weren't sure whether to attempt the trip home, or play it safe and head back to my dad's house. Since the Vikings were playing, and Salms felt like crap...we decided to go back to my dads and get the car looked at on Monday.

As irritated as I was with the whole situation, I couldn't' help but think that maybe this was a sign from God...that there was a reason we couldn't continue. Maybe if we continued we'd be in a car accident? So I was okay with staying, even though I had all of my school stuff at home and a million things I needed to be doing!

Finally, Tuesday rolls around and the car is fixed. We load up the car AGAIN and head out around 10:30. I had checked the weather in Rockford, Madison, Eau Claire, and the Twin Cities (as I always do) and I noticed snow was expected in the late afternoon around Madison and Eau Claire. I figured leaving at 10:30 would put us home at 4:30 and we may miss most of the snow. Unfortunately, what I didn't factor in was that we would be stuck in a MAJOR traffic jam. Stupid road construction on 90 in IL. Normally, it would take and hour and a half to get out of IL, it took us nearly 3 hours just to get to the Wisconsin border. We totally lost valuable time. This made me very grouchy.

Being pregnant, I'm a tad more emotional than normal, and also a bit bitchier. I have no idea how this fight started, but eventually we were fighting about our future and our happiness. I'm pretty sure I started it. I won't go into details, because I know Salms doesn't like me sharing super personal stuff on here...but to give you an idea of this fight...I said things like, "You disappoint me all the time." And when Salms asked why I married him, I responded with, "I don't know." WRONG ANSWER. I don't even know why I said that. I am blaming it on the baby. Anyway, tension was running high in the car, and I did feel pretty bad, but at the same time, I was being honest with a lot of what I said...not the "I dont' know" response though. That as just terrible. Obviously, nothing was solved in the car. We sat in silence for a very long time.

Right after that fight I should have known something was going to happen. Everyone who knows me, knows I have serious car anxiety...especially when snow is involved. So when it started snowing, I of course, became panicky, sweaty, and scared for my life. It was sooooo snowy and windy, I was sure we would die. I begged Salms to pull over, and I offered to pay for a hotel for the night. Salms did not want to load/unload the car AGAIN so we continued on our journey. We were going very slow, and Salms reassured me a million times that the roads were still okay. Eventually, I started feeling okay about the snow. We were slowly, but surely, making it home. Then, we hit Eau Claire and saw a massive accident. The roads were obviously getting more slippery. Within 5 minutes of seeing tha t accident, our car started spinning out of control. We had obviously hit black ice. We weren't braking, or changing lanes, just driving 40 miles per hour and the back tires of the car just swung out. Suddenly, the car is swerving all over the road. Noticing that we were on an overpass, I nearly fainted. Our car came an inch or 2 from hitting the guard rail...I seriously thought we were going to plummet to our death. Eventually we did 2 360's (the scariest part was definitely being backwards on the highway, staring at the cars behind you, praying that they won't slam into you!!!) and came to a stop on in the left lane of the highway. The car had shut off, and Salms quickly got it started again. My biggest fear was that the cars behind us were going to slam into us. Thankfully, no one else hit that patch of ice, and the cars behind us safely passed us. It was that point when I burst into hysterical sobs and demanded that we stay the night in a hotel. Salms couldn't argue, so we were off to the Days Inn.

The whole night I couldn't stop thinking about how thankful I was that we were alive, and unhurt. Salms' car is actually a truck, so I don't know why I've been saying car, but that big thing could have easily tipped over. Almost the entire time it was snowing, we were surrounded by cars...everyone was going slow. I have no idea how we ended up being completely alone on this stretch of road. If anyone was next to us, or right behind us, our situation would have become much worse.

So then I couldn't help but get back to my original thought that everything happens for a reason. Did his car breakdown so we would have to experience this together? Did my fight and horrible words cause this? I felt like we were being taught a lesson. Life is valuable. I had no right to say the things I said to Salms. Can you imagine if he would have died...and those were some of my last words to him?! I have certainly learned my lesson.

I really believe Salms and I were supposed to go through that that night. I also truly believe that my Grandma Bunny and Salms' mom were with us that night. As much as I miss Grandma Bunny, it is nice having such a wonderful angel watching out for me!










So I will be spending 2009 ALIVE and with a greater appreciation for my life. It's scary how fast it could all end...