Blahhhhhhh

Around this time of year I always seem to lose all motivation for everything except sleeping, resulting in crazy mood swings and blahness. Usually I snap out of it very quickly, but I hate going through it. I swear it has to be the changing seasons, but I LOVE fall so that makes my theory a little questionable. Actually, it's probably because I didn't get a teaching job again this year...that makes more sense. Anyway, during these bouts of laziness, I sleep a lot, and it's rare that I have a productive day because I have absolutely no energy. Andy will ask me what I did all day, and I have no idea how to answer, because I don't even know what I did all day. Sit around? Sometimes I just sit on the couch looking out the window, trying to muster up any energy to clean or shower. That actually sounds really depressing, but it isn't. Usually during this time I have conversations with myself (not out loud) that go something like this:

Irrational Betsy: I have no money to buy people Christmas presents.
Rational Betsy: Well then you need to go to work.
Irrational Betsy: I don't want to go to work. I hate working.
Rational Betsy: Well then you won't have presents for people this Christmas and you will homeless.
Irrational Betsy: Grrr. But I hate working! Why can't I just have babies and be a stay at home mom.
Rational Betsy: You need money to have babies.

Rational Betsy eventually wins...because obviously I can't sit around forever. I just can't figure out how I let myself get to this point. Yes working sucks, but my God, it's part of life. I don't have a terrible job, it's better than jobs a lot of people work. I think my big problem is I am not held accountable by anyone. I need to make myself go, and I really don't understand why I don't. I always think, ohhhh I have so much to do, I need to stay home and get everything done. The amazing thing is...I NEVER get anything done when I stay at home all day! I am far more productive when I work. Thank goodness I have a job lined up for tomorrow. It's only an afternoon job, but that's a start! I should really go shower and get out of my Christmas jammies before the plummer arrives.