My life is in shambles. Not the worst of shambles I suppose, but shambly enough for me. I am in the weirdest funk ever, and it is seriously taking a toll on my overall well-being. I feel like I've kinda let my life slide downhill and now I'm sitting here wondering what the heck I've been doing this past year!!!!
To help give you a better idea of why my life is in shambles, I've composed some bulleted points...
* I argue just for the sake of arguing. Sometimes, I'm sooo wrong, and I know it, but I refuse to give up my position and give in. So I say the most RIDICULOUS things, pretend I believe what I'm saying, and usually end up pissing Andy off.
* I complain ALL THE TIME when I'm with Andy. I'd say 60% of my sentences start off with the phrase, "It really irritates me..." or "Seriously, I get sooo annoyed with...." and then I just go on and on about ladies wearing spandex at Walmart, or people who bring their loud ass children out to eat at Applebees when I'm trying to enjoy my perfect marg.... Nothing is ever good enough for me these days apparently.
* Andy asked for a kiss yesterday and my reply was, "I don't give kisses to people who ask for them." And then I didn't' kiss him. Yep. I am a Biyatch. And then that night I asked for a kiss before he fell asleep, and he rolled over and gave me one. I totally didn't deserve it.
*The most concerning thing of all is my monster status, I know I write about this all the time, and clearly fail to do anything about it, but SERIOUSLY. It's reached a disturbing/sickening point. In college I weighed 117-118lbs I think, and didn't' love my weight but it was okay. Yesterday I tipped the scales at 129lbs...1lb away from being considered overweight for someone with my height and bone structure. Yep, that's right. Overweight. I used to always believe there were 2 types of people in the world...people who bought bigger pants when their pants were getting too tight, and people who worked their asses off to stay in their current pants. I used to be the person who refused to ever buy bigger jeans....and just last week I had to buy 2 new pairs cause nothing I owned fit. Argghh! Seriously. Are you sick of me complaining about this?! Cause I am sick of myself.
Anyway, I think I've had an overall pretty bad attitude lately. I decided that life is really what you make of it, and I can either choose to be a negative cruel biyatch, or I can look for the good in everything and find happiness in even the smallest of things. Sometimes I think it's much harder to focus on the good...and my laziness often gets the best of me.
So what to do? I have no clue. Maybe I'll go to the zoo or paint my house blue?
No really. I think I'm going to give the whole positive thoughts thing a try. I'll see how that works. So friends...if you hear me complaining lots, coming up with ridiculous arguments to try to prove my already weak point, or see me two fisting junk food at a rapid pace...please ask me to stop, and remind me it's for my own good.
7 years ago
2 comments:
I think trying to think positive is a great start! We could all probably do that more often. I was thinking early this Spring about how fast time goes and how I don't take time to enjoy some very simple things in life. For instance, we drive so many places and I always miss out on the budding of crops or leaves on trees, so this year I really made an effort to watch nature mature. I am glad I did. It made me feel good and I think it has made me appreciate life a little more.
I think it is a great idea to take the positive route. And quit taking things out on Andy, that is not going to do any good, except cause more problems. Things will get better we all go through times like this, but just try to sit back and enjoy the small things in life.. like grilling out! If you ever need to get out just give me a call and we will find something to do, probably in the great outdoors that always puts you in a better mood! Good Luck buddy, things will get better if you really try.
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